Wednesday, December 22, 2010

MARRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS?

Marry, Merry Christmas is here again.  No it is not a spelling mistake. I actually got married on Christmas day. Why choose Christmas day? Well... I thought that way I only need to buy one gift for two occasion. Wait before you call me a cheap skate I was just joking. Really, I am very generous for this Christmas I bought myself an Ipad. Yes, a 64G wifi Ipad. It is my first apple and now I find it does not sync well with my windows pc. I am getting sleepless nights.
So what am I getting for my wife? I offered her a Ford Escape but since she feels we cannot afford it so I am getting her a ....surprise! Unless a kind soul out there wants to make my generous gift a reality. After all it is not just another wedding anniversary. It is our 'Twentieth anniversary' I can't believe we were married for 20 years!! I mean I am still madly in love with her. Who says marriage grows stale with time. Our love grew in in depth and maturity like cheese mmmm... no make that wine.
Marriage is never without storms. Make sure your marital ship has these crew members name commitment, compassion, compromise and connection on board. The 4 C's of marital success. If you can't find that in a partner don't marry him/her. If you think you can change the partner to 'improve' him/her after you get married, you are in for a shock so will your partner. It is in the first 3-5 years that is make and break as both adjust to each others peculiarities, habits, idiosyncrasies, expectations and phobias. Wait a minute, you mean we did not see that until we got married? Do you remember the saying 'Love is blind"? It's true.
Also there is a special tool that can save trouble marriage and help make the first 3-5 years so much easier for both partners it's call EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques. Marriage is mainly an emotional bond. Not only love but also many negative emotions like anger, jealousy, low self esteem, bitterness and many more. Learning to handle your emotions and understanding why you get angry at each other over the slightest issue will take away the hidden rocks that can shipwreck your marriage.
As a therapist I had the opportunities to tap away all these negative emotions from couples who see me. They even tell me 'You are our last hope'! Their marriage grew stronger after that. Intimacy improves and is restored. Sexual and financial issues are solved. I and my wife also tap together on our issues. If this is the secret to successful marriage you can add one more crew member in you marital ship - EFT!

To all my friends and EFT graduates,

Marry and Merry Christmas to all who are celebrating this seasons happiness and joy.

With happiness
Isaac Lim

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